Saturday, August 31, 2013

Monsoon Madness

It was almost two days of consistent raining in Kolkata and these gloomy weather left me in a gloomy mood in the care of me alone. Meanwhile I had my old fever. It comes often to visit me. It feels like he is my long lost lover who comes back once in a while to check upon me. To ask me how am I doing all along?? But his caring leaves me exhausted.  With this cold weather fever left me a bit more tired this time accompanying me with choked throat and aching body.
I love rains. Be it cats and dogs or the heavy rain with lots of thunders and storm. Watching the rain from the window of my room has been one of my preferred leisure time...of course if it is raining outside. The window does not give a very much glimpse of the sky..its just a little bit but it allows all the cold, fresh air inside my room and sometimes the rain itself. The curtains get wet...but I don't mind! We don't get a year full of when its pouring outside why think of all these earthy things???
When I was in school I was so crazy about rain that I used to leave umbrella home so that I can get wet on my way to house.  And I used to get drenched. But once this led to a high fever with lots of hallucination. So from then on my mother used to make sure that I take umbrella in my bag. School days were a lot of fun. I did not have too many friends but still I managed to enjoy everything I like on my own. Of course getting wet in the rain is a lot of fun with friends but I still  managed to get wet alone and have a good look around. Also having panipuri while its raining was also on my checklist every year. I used to do this with my sister.
But as I grew up all these notions of childhood seemed to fade off. Or this can be other way around. All these notions faded I grew up. And now I generally avoid getting wet in the rain as I easily catch fever now.
So, last day on my way to tuition it was again pouring and I guarded myself with an umbrella. The street was not crowded and it seemed like the rain made everything look in a new avatar. The trees were looking more greener and the street with its heavy ink blue background of sky made it look like as if just had a bath and has not been yet able to dry it off. It was giving such a wet feel to my senses. As I walked by lots of thoughts passed my mind. I was a little anxious and confused about my studies and career as well as I was thinking about all the fights that had taken place between me and Subrata for the last couple of days. The gentle fresh breeze was sailing high and was filling my thoughts with an unknown satisfaction. And I was left happy. With the problems in my life suddenly I felt my mind so bright and for one moment I wanted to all the miserable things to let go of myself and wanted to be reincarnated with this rain.
There are somedays when you feel so delighted that all the other things makes no effect on you and you see things that you have seen already in a different way as if they were never there before and you have just seen them now. Exactly this is what happened with me that day. The streets of Kolkata becomes filthy as a result of rain. All the foul things and garbage gets scattered everywhere. But that day I didn't mind them and walked along the street watching them carefully. Mainly the garbage were the vegetable skin. I really don't have any idea why the hell the people throw them outside rather than keeping in the garbage can for the day and give it to the man collecting garbage the very next day!! Anyways I didn't mind this and it appeared to be a very normal result of the rain.
I also was looking at the buildings on both sides of the street. I saw the balconies that I have never seen before. The banners of advertisement that has skipped my eyes perfectly all these days and all the designs of the buildings that someone has built with the last penny of their savings, something that every man desires...a house of their own.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Our very old Coffee House

Some days back I had to go to college street for some university office work. So I had to start my day really early. I am not a early riser so I actually started everything with red eyes and sore mind. I hate waking up early. Even if sometimes I wake up...I kind of have very huge preference towards rolling down in the bed. I like to start my day that way I find the morning passing on more quickly that it really does when I have to go university and do all the studies or simply work my own stuff.
So with the intention of getting rid of my morning dizziness I was rolling as usual today and I found the clock running like a mad horse and I was yet to have my shower and get ready. So finally to the very against own will I got ready in a speed racing car and was finally on my way.
It was only the early august. So the summer should have been a lot more bearable by this time. But this year the summer is likely to be not ending ever. There is only some sprinkling of rain to this dusty earth and otherwise its the sweaty summer all over in its never ending fury. I hate this summer here. Actually I hate the very idea of sweat dropping from every part of the body in summer. Otherwise summer is cool with its light clothes and yummy fruits and specially an awesome excuse to have ice cream almost thrice a day!!
After getting out of home is not the final burden that I have to come across in the way. I also have to undergo with the horrible traffic condition of Kolkata which sometimes makes me think that in order to reach somewhere I have to start from almost two hours early. The streets are noisy, congested and most importantly overloaded. The buses makes the road so fuller that over vehicles fins it almost next to impossible to move. Sometime the traffic jam makes me late for almost 45 minutes and even if there is no traffic jam the traffic signal makes the life tough. There is signal in every five minutes distance and the bus will stand in every signal in order to catch passenger.
College street where the original campus of Calcutta University is situated is famous for its innumerable book shop and is also known as BOI PARA. I love this place mainly because I am a book sucker and I love places hovering with it new and old. There Coffee House is another famous place here. It is an old Indian version of modern cafes. In the old days you could have seen all the intellectual people, poets and writers gathering here in groups with just one cup of coffee, smoking cigarettes and spending hours with their debates and thoughtful discussions on worldly matters. Today also students gather here from the nearest Presidency University, Scottish Church College, Surendranath College and Vidyasagar College. This is also a so called no smoking area with small banners and hoardings everywhere indicating not to smoke but no one really cares about it. And also the authorities are not concerned about it or implementing the rule. So everyone here is carelessly smoking to their free will and making the air dizzy. If you stoop from the second floor balcony you will see the smokey air covering the whole area. I prefer to sit on the balcony in the second floor. It has more air compared to the first floor. If you are planning to visit coffee house make sure you have enough time in your hand because grabbing a sit will take a bit time there as it is always crowded. And if you are lucky you may get a table as fast as you get there.
However whenever I go to college street I go to this place. Although it is named after coffee I hate its coffee. Its almost like water....full bizarre. And sometimes they just forget to give sugar in it. I don't order it rather I find their chicken pakora more delicious. Also delicious is not the exact word. But if you are really hungry and more or less good food is given to you you will find it delicious. There you can also find sandwiches, chicken cutlet, chicken kabiraji, and same stuffs with mutton. This time I order a chicken noodles. Once they take the order their is a long waiting process before they finally serve the food. I actually feel that we are being waiters here. Waiting..and waiting in our hungry stomach wondering whether the food has actually been lost in the midway.
However this time was no exception from their being late invisible rule. And when it actually came I was so surprised at the quantity.Not to say that it was really too little for me and my sister and the food actually made us more hungry. We thought of ordering something more but considering the time they take to actually reach our table we were panic stricken and wanted to have something else from outside the coffee house. So we ate whatever there was in the plate and wrapped our day in half full stomach. Only to say that we had phuchka on the way back home to satisfy our hungry mind.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Expect or not?

When you love someone and don't get that in return...or get almost nothing of what you expect, negative emotions start bumping on your head and heart to give you mental as well as physical setbacks so all you get is kind of an unstable life.
Earlier when I talked to the person whom I care and love I used to become so surprised that someone can actually conclude the entire conversation with a simple word "OK".  And I used to become so upset. I am not a very emotional girl but what I feel is true and what I do is truly from the heart. But then I start expecting that he will do the same or may be more for me. Will be always there when I will need him and will be my emotional support. Will understand me and my thoughts. Or do something for me when I am least expecting it. But as time passed on, which is only a few months to say I am realizing that from his point of view the relation is standing on the ground of necessity. He is there because he thinks that it is that point in his life when someone should be there in his life to take care. I can't see any kind of excitement, emotion from his side which used to kill me at some times back. I used to look into his eyes and tried to find out whether those eyes were trying to love me or not. So I tried and tried and I failed miserably every time. May be its my childish instinct which tries to get his attention but again is it wrong?? Actually it was my love for him which did not try to understand at first that there is no written or even invisible rule that when you love you should also be loved back!
I read in a lot of books that time is the best healer. But I don't agree with it. Time can't and it has never healed anything. It just makes us accostomed to live with the pain such that, one day, it will be as usual as any other thing or incident. It will be as usual as breathing where you will never notice it but there will always be that enormous dent in your heart. In you. What will remain are the shattered pieces of those awkward moments where I tried to cling on to someone and I was destined to fall.
That is what happened with me. His absence his indifference to me no longer gives me heart aches and I am happy with it. I no longer check my phone every five minutes and I started spending more time with my books and movies. And I can say yes I am happy.
I no longer want to be there, where I have spend lots of sleepless nights crying and sobbing. And there was no one to rub my tears off my face. I hate of the thought that I was even there at some point of time where I gave so much importance to someone who did not even bothered to look back at me and ask me if I was okay. So with time I let myself free of this captivating love and I realized that this is the best I have done for myself.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013 it???

My result got out this Monday and to save you from asking the question that how was it..lets get over the curtain that it was horribly bad. I could not possibly imagine that it could be that bad. It is the consequence of my over confidence which made me think that it will be okay...I have handled it so far and I will pass with flying colors this year too!! But this went completely wrong. So I am a little lost and confused as to what to do now. To be honest I have never liked this subject Economics. I actually hated it. And doing masters with a subject that you don't like is a tough choice..if anyone here knows what I mean. There were lots of drama behind this choice but lets save it for another day. Now I have no interest to go further with Economics and trying change my course. I know its going to get rough a bit but now I want to focus on something that I think is interesting for me. So I have narrowed down my search and came to select 2 subjects - English and Sociology. Not to say that my parents are very happy with it. Of course it always gives a good impression to them if you are doing your higher studies with a strong and tough and renowned subject. Leaving Economics and going to English or Sociology is really downmarket for them.
But this time I have to work it out. I am not changing my decision for anyone but me. Although this is a bad time for me...lets hope everything will go well.

Food - take me as I am

Who does not need food??Its the basic necessity of life and if taken otherwise it can be the most luxuriiously lived passion of the whole human being. I have seen people who eat because they just need to eat..that is to sustain their lives. Others just eat. I mean they eat everything....they see they grab and they eat. They just love to it is the only action they know and love to perform. Others...the most typical one is the most rare kind....and I love them. They are the food lovers. They not only love it, they cherish it...lingers the moment and most importantly visually...physically and most importantly they have a lust for it. I prefer to call them foodie. I is not only give you calories and burn the energies...they are also the food for the soul. If the served food does not have the visual appeal will it satisfy you completely?? I prefer to call this typical special kind as the FOODIE. fail you very badly...I am a terrible foodie. Yes...I am not an eater..I am a foodie.
That does not count in the fact that I act snobbish in choosing food and of course nor does it mean that I eat like swines. Its just the fact that I plan a lot..but I eat a little. Anyone who goes out with me just get mad as after choosing this this and this...I may only eat this and a very little portion of other this.Its like the five year plannings....planned accordingly but never completed.
I was not...I am not and I will hopefully never be figure conscious. I just don't think about the fact until its crossing the limit. Its also because I love to eat and taking into account all the calories that are going into my body may actually blow up my mind!! But the problem here is that my stomach is the one who betrays me all the time. It gets fully satisfied so easily and if I happen to swallow some more bites I will have to spent the night drinking water to overcome the uneasiness in my body. What can I do?? Its my mind that plays the role of the pervert here. It sees any delicious looking food and feels an immense urge to feel it in the mouth. Wants to drool over it...wants to roll its tongue over it!!Oh...all that pervert thoughts!!
So today after watching the movie The Conjuring I headed towards The Mc Donalds accompanied by my sister in the mood of having some good food time. I have eaten a lot in KFC but I have never stepped inside Mc Donalds. Or you can say I always wanted to play safe by eating what I have so far tasted good.
But after so much nail biting moments in the theater I wanted to try something new...well that is very new for me too as I am always so happy to remain in my comfort zone. So with sheer courage I went and I ordered. The food was simple. Just  burger, their so very famous french fries and coke. The fries were good but the burger did not impress me much. I don;t know whether it was my old spark with KFC or whether the burger is overrated by others that I found it a little bit shallow in taste. The bread was soft, the chicken was good but I am not somehow could not find any good word to praise it. It was okay from my side. My mind was not satisfied but my stomach really was. It was full and did not want to take in any more. Mind whispered to go immediately towards the ice cream parlor and fulfill its thirst but by then I was horribly late for my tuition and rushed towards home to drop my sister. Meanwhile I was reminiscing with virtual rears all the way about  my untouched ice cream and promised myself to have some later. God knows when!!
Moral of the story : Too much food can actually ruin your day!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Pets or pests??

As you know...or you may not that I live in a house which is full of cats and dogs. It may sound weird..but it is the truth. We have five cats. No, they are not siblings. Each has a different and cute story line of their own. None..except one...we have planned to keep with ourselves but others eventually ended up with us. The very small messed up...and sometimes screwed up family of us.
We are four members in our house. We have 3 rooms, one kitchen and one corridor. Parents come to home for sleeping purpose only. Don;t take it otherwise..they are just very busy with their business and wok outside. So its me and my sister in home. Since our business is just beside our mother has the time to come by home some time and clean it. As with five cats and two huge dogs...our home is just messed up as we are.
Each of the cats have interesting names and very typical to their looks. In the Descending order of their age...they are : Miu, Chana, Mishti, Pukai and Pukpuki.
So as you can see...Miu is the oldest and she is the most pampered one. She came to us on my sister's assistance. It was one of my cousin brother who brought her to us. When she came she was so tiny that she could be so easily fitted in our palms...The first time I saw her on my cousin's was only tears that was only visible instead of her eyes. She was crying...and she kept crying for nearly a week. All we could do was to caress her..take her in our laps and show her the road from our balcony. And she used to watch the people walking, the dogs barking and running across our locality and the cars...that swifted across the street from a distance. And thats how she grew she is so big that she does not fit our lap. She is all grown up so she is not just satisfied with our gentle caress or the pampering that we give her. She has made her own world. She jumps up on the brick made thick wall in our balcony on the ground floor and watches the passer by. Sometimes she just vanishes... and after a long search we find her under the bed being sound asleep. Fumbling with anger...we just laugh at ourselves. That's how she is. Our first emotional offspring of our teen age lives. However she is the only one who does not make us nuts on our nerves...that is to say whatever she does are not that up to the mark of being referred as pest compared to other cats in my home.
Now comes the story of CHANA. In bengali chana means cottage cheese. She came from one of my school friends home. They already had 4 they were intending to give her up to some one..and here I took charge..and in spite of my mother's huge protest..I took her home. She was soo white at that time that I thought to give her the name milky. But my sister insisted on the name chana...and that was final. her early days she acted just like a baby. There was not a moment when we were able to she her not playing. She could play with anything. She even played with air. We were really dumbstruck seeing that.If there was just only one piece of paper or the cap of a pen or just a plastic bag littering lazily from one corner to another corner. She will definitely not spare that. She will push that from her for a distance and will run with full force after it to catch. That's what she does even now when she is quite grown up and is a very large looking cat. She also plays the role of  Don here scaring out the little ones to death whenever she is around. Well these are not her pest identity...the real problem started occuring from the time when we saw her peeing on our clothes. At first we did not take it seriously as we thought that it might be some of her mischievious act. But it became viral at some point later. She started peeing on everything. Be it books or clothes or she even peed on the bed. After giving some painfully horrible training to her...I am saying horrible because that was on our part and took miserable patience as till then we might have gone through a lot of washing and wastage of different things. But now things are on a hold. She does not pee anymore to our ultimate relief.:)
So this was the story of my two once little cats...the other stories are coming soon...but to save you from this boredom...lets stop here and I will be back with another insanely stupid story of my life in the next post!!
Till then...ciao!!