Friday, June 28, 2013

Life as it is

It was noon when I got the news that my sister got selected in one of the government art college. Its not the best but it is an achievement for her. I was really happy but at the same time a sank into my own selfish thinking.
When I was about to join my college I had a huge pressure from my family to take economics in place of literature. But past is past. Now I kind of like this subject and pursuing my masters!! But there is always a silver lining in my thought if it would have been literature may be I could study with a lot of interest. Well let's bid this going subject a good bye.
We have two new kittens in our home now..all in all 5 total!! I love and adore them while they play and caress each other. They look soo cute.
I don't know whether I am become hopeless or frustrated...but I feel so low about myself. Outside I am as cheerful as I was..there is something in me that bites me inside that haunts me in my sleep and irritates me all the time. I am not happy..I am not at all happy...but I can't show it. I have everything but still I crave for something that I left behind.
But we should always remember that past is past...and the more I hold on to it the more the future will slip out of my fist!! But you know what its heart...its not brain..!!It knows every nooks and corners of this pathetic little world but its the heart that denies to understand everything and lives inside the fantasy it creates..
Is it a very big deal to expect that the love of my life will also think that I am his world...??Is it really a big deal to expect that...that particular man will make my world..worth living rather than to build my own??